What a whirlwind of a year 2023 has been! Still, I must say, I have a lot to be thankful and grateful for.
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Every year, I write my annual gratitude post, and it’s always the same: I’m thankful for Zoie (obviously), having a job (not this year), my support system, and some other seemingly ridiculous things.
This year, with the whirlwind I’ve experienced — read Rock Bottom Has a Basement — I have to say, it really has put things into perspective. I won’t burden you with sadness, trauma dumping, or anything else heavy. This post will be filled with happiness and positive vibes.
Without further ado, what is Tiff Thankful & Grateful for this season of gratitude?
Not Having A Job
I know what you’re thinking: why be thankful for not having a job? It means no steady income, struggling to pay bills, and being on the verge of losing it all. Sorry, this isn’t meant to be sad; I’m just getting to my point.
Not having a job has truly put life into perspective for me, humbled me, so to speak. I grew up poor, familiar with the struggle of having nothing—no electricity, no heat, and so on. I forgot my roots. I’ve stood in food bank lines, washed my clothes in a sink, and without government assistance, I might not be here today.
Not having an income, I’ve had to seek help from organizations — ones I’ve supported in the past. I’ve also applied for government assistance because I’m uncertain about receiving unemployment benefits or when I’ll secure a new job. Despite being turned away due to funding shortages or not meeting specific aid area criteria, it has highlighted that many others are facing even greater struggles than I am. For now, we still have a roof over our heads, and we’re fortunate to have friends who are doing their best to assist— some going out of their way to recommend me for job opportunities.
Moreover, it has given me time to recover from burnout. I poured everything I had into each of my jobs until I couldn’t anymore — working long shifts, neglecting friends, missing time with Zoie, skipping important events due to deadlines, and pushing myself until I couldn’t go on.
Not having a job has truly opened my eyes to how much I do have. It’s shown me who I can really rely on, and it’s made me realize the importance of prioritizing myself before a job.
Being Loved
Throughout my life, I’ve always struggled with understanding what it means to love and to be loved. This year, above all, I’ve come to realize just how much I am genuinely loved. How many people genuinely care if I make it through another day. Everyone expresses their love in different ways; it’s not always about saying the words I love you.
Sometimes, someone shows their love by inviting you to join a video call while they’re doing their hair, just to be in the same virtual space. It’s showing up at your house to simply sit together on the couch and watch TV. It’s sending a funny TikToks or memes that reminds them of you. It’s exchanging silly Snapchat filters back and forth. It’s finding a random sticker in the mail that someone sent to you. It’s someone arriving with a surprise gift of ice cream sandwiches. It’s someone dropping off the cutest stuffed animal just for you.
Love comes in so many forms; it’s not black and white, and not everyone expresses their love in the same way. But, above all, people care in their own unique ways. Everyone has their own love language, and that’s something I’ve learned this year.
Everyone deserves to be loved; the Grinch taught me that.
Tomorrow Not Being Promised
I know it’s a bit unusual to be thankful for, but hear me out.
Tomorrow isn’t promised, so we must learn to be thankful and grateful for the things we have here and now. We have to learn to live and find happiness in the people and things we have at this moment. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t plan for the future, set goals, and strive to improve.
And if this year has taught me anything, I need to take my own words of wisdom from the post “It’s Just A Job, You Are Replaceable”. You might be replaceable at work, just a number, but you know what? You are not replaceable to your children or close friends.
The people who bring you happiness and remind you of just how amazing you are when you can’t see it yourself — those people don’t see you as replaceable or just a number. Today, you might have a frivolous deadline that’s crucial to your company, causing you to cancel important plans with a friend or family member, and tomorrow they might not be here. I know that’s morbid to think about, especially at this time of year, but it’s true.
Tomorrow is not promised. Take time out of your day for self-care, to remind someone how thankful you are, and above all else, take a deep breath. Live and be thankful for what you do have today and every single day you are given.
My Couch
It might seem odd to be thankful for this, but the couch I’m sitting on while writing this post means a lot to me. If you follow me on Instagram, you know that my couch recently celebrated its 5th birthday with us.
This couch came to us secondhand, but in amazing shape. It was our first piece of furniture in our house — well, besides our beds. It took us almost 2 years of living in our house to acquire this piece of furniture. As a single mom trying to navigate life, finances, and everything else, this couch was a godsend.
This couch has been through it all in five years. It’s seen friends come and go, been a place of comfort in both the lowest and greatest times, and has been there for the best and worst news. There have been lots of naps, sleepless nights, and binge-watching TV. I know it’s strange to have such affection for a piece of furniture, but the multitude of memories — both good and bad — that this couch has witnessed makes it an integral part of our life. And have I mentioned how COMFY it is? It’s so soft, cozy, and overall my favorite spot in the house, right after my bed. I hope we have many more years together because, if you couldn’t tell, I’m quite attached.
Those Who Taught Me Lessons
People often forget to thank those who have put them through some of their toughest times. However, they are also people to be thankful for.
Why? Because they teach you life lessons. This year, I’ve experienced friends whom I loved with all my heart leave me, people putting me in bad situations that I could have avoided, and individuals lying, stabbing me in the back, and hurting me for their own gain.
Am I going to be bitter about it? No. Am I going to be sad about it? Well, yes, I’m human — and a Cancer. But I’m going to cry about it for a day and move on. Because they taught me about my self-worth, they taught me to trust my instincts, they taught me what to put up with and when to say NO. They taught me that it is acceptable to cut people out when they no longer respect you and your boundaries.
Above all else, they have taught me that not everyone in this world comes into your life to stay, but to help you learn how to respect and care for yourself.
My Weird Friends
I know it’s cliché to say I’m thankful for my friends. But this year, I’m more thankful than ever for my group of supportive weirdos.
As I mentioned above, I’ve struggled with the concept of being loved, understanding that everyone shows their love in different ways. This year, my group of friends has really helped me grasp the concept of friendship, love, patience, and understanding.
With that being said, I’d like to give special shoutouts to those who have helped keep me here this year: Emily, Christopher, Dylan, Ashley, Marie, Stephen, Tommy, and Allyson. Without them, I wouldn’t be in this place of healing and understanding. Actually, I wouldn’t be here at all because they’ve supported me through some of my darkest times, times when I didn’t think I’d make it to the next day.
I know it’s hard to be thankful for this year. I know it’s hard to get out of bed, tough to be without, and challenging given the state of the world right now. I understand how it feels to have another thing added to the pile of stressors in your life. I just hope that amidst every bad thing, every sad thing, every loss this year, you can find the opposite and discover the good.
In the end, the universe doesn’t give us what we want, but rather what we need.
