Because everyone needs a plan for after they die.

I saw this TikTok by @ShopAIF and I was like, YES!

So pay attention if you’re in my life and if you’re not stay anyway.

1. Milk my death. Take multiple days off, weeks, or a whole month. Even if you don’t know me personally and we aren’t close. Use my death to get out of anything, you have my permission. Don’t want to go to an event “Sorry my friend just died”.
   
2. Cremate me and place me in something cool! Don’t put me in a freaking urn! No, put my ashes in a Goodwill flower vase. Separate me and put in glitter bombs to send enemies. I don’t care, just don’t put me in something ugly and place me on a fireplace.
   
3. My funeral must be on a Friday. Why do you ask? Because my life needs to be celebrated for a whole weekend! Friday until Sunday! Go buck wild. For a whole weekend. Monday is your hangover day.
   
4. My Funeral must be a party! That’s right the whole weekend should be a party to celebrate. Have jello shots — tequila & vodka must be there, no red, please. Multiple kegs of all my favorite beer, hell get a keg truck, margaritas, and vodka sodas all around for everyone. No one is allowed to cry unless they are 2 sheets to the wind. Even then, I’m dead I’m not coming back so don’t cry for me. Have FUN!
   
5. There must be a bonfire! Yes, nothing says Tiff kicked the bucket like a big ass bonfire! Everyone knows I love a good bonfire. So stack the wood up so high, and just keep adding to it all weekend
   
6. Comfy clothing only! This is a party, not a sadness. Wear your comfy clothes, favorite t-shirt, hoodie, and sweatpants. Well unless I die in the summer, then I hoodie, shorts, and a favorite t-shirt. No ties, suits, dresses, none of that crap at my funeral.
   
7. Pizza, French Fries, and Tacos! That’s what everyone shall be eating all weekend, invite a different food truck every day of the party. Eat it all up.
   
8. Burn My Phone!! Yea, don’t be going through my phone, iPad, or Mac. Just throw it in the fire! Don’t be nebby.
   
9. Plant a tree! Where ever this weekend bender is after it’s over plant a tree and that’s where everyone can go to remember me when I’m gone. Preferably a nice Japanese Maple tree or whatever is on sale at the time.
   
10. Don’t Be Sad. By the time I’ve to die whether it’s tomorrow or 20 years from now, I will have lived my life. There is no reason to be sad. Just smile, have a nice cold beer, and remember all the times we’ve had together.