Day 17: A Long Term Goal

Surprisingly enough, I do have a number of long term goals

The past year I set a new long-term goal, one I’ve really struggled with. Stepping away from those who do not celebrate my wins, that’s my long-term & life goal.

Life is so short, and life is full of so many wins! Why keep people in our life who don’t celebrate our wins?

I’ve struggled my whole life with keeping people in my life who do not bring value, who do not care about what I accomplish, and are just downright toxic.

I started this year with a new therapist, and they challenged me to weed out those who are not beneficial to my growth. I have two stories for you these; two stories set me on this path of understanding just how much I need to Step away from those who do not celebrate my wins.

As you all know, I love working in advertising and being a developer in the industry. I’m passionate about my job, I know 9 to 5 isn’t a thing in advertising & development, and I know they are both EVER changing. I’ve worked around the clock, holidays, weekends, missing major events because I want to be in this industry.

Back in the fall I was promoted to the Director of Front End Development of my company; I was so excited with the news! Especially, after retiring from Ad 2 and needed a new project. I was so excited, I wanted to share the news with EVERYONE.

At the time, I was texting a group chat of three people, and I let it slip. The responses were absolutely devesting. One person didn’t respond, one person responded with an “okay, will this affect me?” and the last one was an “oh, that’s more hours”. Not a single congratulations, way to go nothing, and still to this day nothing. I was CRUSHED because it made me think I didn’t deserve the position, that I didn’t work hard enough, and I wasn’t going to do great. I let it resonate over the weekend, and I told myself no one cared. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my closest friends.

You know what, I was F**KING wrong! So wrong, I cannot tell you just how wrong I was. About a month into the position I, updated my LinkedIn, privately updated my Facebook and website. My phone blew up, cards came, & presents started showing up at my house. SO MANY PEOPLE CARED, they wanted to celebrate my victory. They wanted to tell me how proud they were of me and how my hard work finally paid off. The amount of “why didn’t you tell me” messages I received was astounding.

I let three people, who could care less about me and my life, dictate who I told about a monumental moment in my life. I shouldn’t have I, should have been proud of what I accomplished and screamed it from the rooftops.

The last story, I started an Etsy shop last spring. I had talked about making stickers and cards for a bit and never pulled the trigger. When I finally did pull the trigger, bought all the supplies, I was nervous but excited. I told maybe a handful of acquaintances after I made my first couple sales. Most were said, “cool, send me a post so I can share!” which I thought was nice. I had acquaintances tell me, and I quote; “That’s dumb! Why would you do that, you won’t sell anymore! Focus on being a developer!”

Well, we aren’t acquaintances anymore! I still have my Etsy shop; I’ve made 40 sales and several sales off of Etsy! I’m still into the shop, it’s fun, and I love the feedback from customers!

In the end, you need to let go of those who do not celebrate your wins, no matter big or small. Getting out of bed, losing a pound, cooking a meal, finishing a project, whatever the task, surround you with people who care, who want to hear. If they don’t want to hear about your wins, you need to let them go.

Will it happen overnight? Absolutely not! It takes a lot of energy and willpower, but I will tell you this, you’ll feel better. You’ll feel so much better.

Take a deep breath, remember it will be hard, but remember it’s better to be alone than in bad company!